Sometimes it is very hard to know where to begin. I have been a busy girl - filled to the brim with rising sap and with a bunny bounce in my step. It is wonderful to be blasting on all cylinders. A taste of recent adventures:
I am working up an idea for a system to enable mental health professionals to quickly gadge the mood, value systems and self-sabotaging techniques which may be in operation with their clients. I am hoping that if those who have had the care of me see value in it - we may be able to take it significantly further as an idea.
I have grieved more recently perhaps than before, for the fact that since being so very ill, my vocation as a priest and my faith as a Christian has not returned. It is as though the part of the brain that facilitates religious experience is switiched off. I am sure this is my psyche remaining protective of my identity for the time being - but it has meant I have had the energy and space to think about myself and my future in new ways. It is a privilege to be able to think outside the box of the conventional expressions of vocation.
I've decided to re-train as a psychologist - something which wil tessilate well with my writing and art. I am especially looking forward to working in an environment which has healthy, clear and professionally regulated boundaries of intervention and care.
We have also reached the final decision on moving from here. My partner and I were having one of those long ponderings when he asked a rather poignant question: "When I die, would you continue to live where we'd moved to?" At the time we were focusing on Somerset. My first reaction, without giving it more than a moment's thought was to say " I'd move back to the Highlands." "Then we have our answer" he replied. Why move when here is home?
We did acknowledge in the next breath how much we enjoyed being around family and friends in England. Our solution is to consciously make an effort to travel South more often. Atlast we have the physical and emotional freedom to truly embrace this and include this pattern in our current living.
So being at home has a whole new resonance of being a setller. We have settled and we feel we belong. The local identity is our identity too. We fit here.
I've sent off sketches for two pieces I am working up for a summer exhibition of visually-impaired artists. I won't hear until next month whether either of them - or both - have made the grade - but I am enjoying the challenge of working in a tactile and three-dimensional way.
Now we know home is here - we are beginning to plan. My next task which has taken ages to organise is the decorating of the guest suite. I have really searched for the aesthetic choices I have eventually made and I am looking forward to the DIY - I love it.
My next big 'adventure' is to create a small kennel block in the garden. I have founded - in principle - a small breeding kennel with a very good friend. Our dogs are yet to be shown - but assuming the rossettes come in and our respected breeders release the dogs for breeding - we hope very much to create a new line of Newfoundlands. I am thrilled with this. I'm passionate about the breed and equally concerned that stable, generously natured dogs are reered.
It's funny, I don't feel guilty about moving on anymore. Life's far too short.
That is absolutely brilliant both in terms of a new career change and of being settled, very freeing. Fly. Let your wings soar you to new horizons and be free.If ever you find yourselves in this neck of the woods there is always a warm welcome for you both anytime.Much love G
Posted by: Gwen | 04/08/2009 at 03:52 PM