Met a chap from Windsor Chapel today. He and his partner have moved up to the Highlands. He is one of the facilitators for the ten day convocation I'm attending in October. It was good to talk Church again, but it still feels a rather abstract concept.
Much clearer throughline coming together with the novel and I am beginning to develop the detail for the magician series of paintings. I am wondering if my diary will allow a trip down to Southport or whether I will have to prevail on a magician to take the pieces and see if they have buyers. It would be easier to take them of course. We'll see. Busy few weeks a head with the charity scena to finish; the novel to get to basting point and the outlines atleast for the paintings well underway. It feels brilliant to be busy.
Not so good is that Bertie, our dyspraxic tabby, is still missing. He's never been away this long. It's a horrible, empty, unresolved feeling. My partner will take a missing poster round later. He may have set up home in a neighbouring village or be stuck in an outbuilding. He may have fallen foul of a badger or a fox. I do hope not, but I can see that he has lead quite a charmed existence here - rabbits on continuous take out and plenty of holes to investigate and trees to climb. I hope we do see him again - he is such a joyous wee beastie.
Disappearing off the face of the earth seems to be a theme just now. I lost God some months ago - and haven't found her again - sadly. This last week I have rather more literally and worryingly, lost my brother. I didn't worry too much when I didn't hear from him on my birthday - he can be a little absentminded about birthdays - it's a family trait - but I became more concerned when I couldn't get hold of him on his birthday. What's more I had some surprising news which indicated that all was not well. I've waited and even tried to e mail him at work. Nothing. In a strange way I can get to his apparent need to claim some space and time. I just hope he's OK. It's always tempting to think that because I have mental health concerns maybe he has too. I hope it's just that he is on a creative binge and is developing a new role-playing game or is doing something exciting and spontaneous. The trouble is this is all a little out of character - well the latter is - the former is par of the course.
My brother and I have become closer since our mother's death, but we weren't in regular contact. We've both got a huge amount to deal with regarding our early lives and our parental relationships as well as the far from healthy relationship we had with each other - but we were beginning to listen to each other as adults - and we were enjoying the exploration.
I do hope he's OK.
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