I was mortified to find out I have been fired today - and it wasn't even as graceful(!) as a an Sir Alan Sugar dismissal. The job I was hoping to go back to in September, teaching Christian Spirituality at The Theological Institute of the Scottish Episcopal Church has been taken away from me without any discussion or warning. It carries a small honourarium and only involves creating a Reader and teaching for five residential weekends and a summer school, but it was a very enjoyable experience for the most part! I was looking forward to returning to this in September.
I was talking the other day to the See Me campaign about doing some volunteer campaigning about mental health and stigma in the workplace and in social contexts. Little did I think that I would find myself feeling something of a victim a few days later! As far as I understood it the fact that I have been ill was an unfortunate blip in the general continuity of teaching and being an Associate Ministry Development Officer for TISEC. I have been proud of the work I have done in the past.
At no point - until today - when I attempted to arrange a meeting with my now 'old' boss, to talk about the details of next term, did I find I have no role to go back to. I am still surprised. It doesn't make much sense and isn't sinking in. I am mostly horrified.
One good piece of news about being a hell of a lot better is that I get angry in the moment rather than supressing it. I am ballistic - what?! How the ...? I am not even sure this can actually be done? Do I have any rights in this? Can I be fired? I have never been fired in my life - it is a horrible feeling I have to say. Until I cut through my anger I won't research whether there is anything I can do about this. The Church doesn't have Tribunals as such and is not subject to things like equality legislation or discrimination law. For now I just feel cheated out of an important expression of vocation - as a theological educator. Cheated out of a job I thought I still had.
Right. Now I have got that off my chest, I can also own up that I feel hurt. I now realise that all the guff I was told about being a valued and essential part of the TISEC team must have been tosh. Convenient when I was doing my job and agreeing to do extra work - but no longer the case when I became ill.
I have been given no reason as to why I can't return to teaching with the course apart from the fact that the person who has been subbing for me this last academic year is doing next year too. All news today.
I can't help but feel a little discriminated against. I believe any reasonable person in a comparable situation would argue the same. I am avoiding believing that this is an example of the church's educational provision exhibiting its ignorance about mental health and fitness for work and hoping it is an ill thought out managerial aberration - but I am not holding my breath.
I just cannot believe that TISEC can do this. Perhaps more importantly I cannot believe I was effectively fired in an e-mail. I can't think of any other charity, voluntary organisation let alone business or educational establishment where this would be acceptable. Most extraordinary. Still life so often is.
I have heard that someone I very much value has decided to buy a Newfoundland pup! I am extremely pleased and have images of Humph and this new little bundle of girl-life having puppies in a few years time! She is black apparently - so there would be a delicious mix of brown and black pups! This made my day. Simple pleasures for simple minds. No cloaks, daggers or the sniff of betrayal of trust in the language of dogs.
Dear Jane....all I can say is a heart felt ouch and feel your anger.
Much love C
Posted by: carolynn | 07/18/2008 at 11:41 AM