Morning in town buying acrylics and a large folio bag for sketches. (This is getting serious). I also checked out the kinds of print compositions which are selling and prices - which vary hugely.
I very much want to get together a set of perhaps six or seven canvases and sketches to take round and show at galleries.
My partner and I met for a leisurely cuppa in Marks and Spencer before descending on Simpsons for lunch. Then home to the computer. I began by opening mail and burst out laughing at a wonderful magazine that had been sent over by a friend containing an interview with one of my hearthrobs - Martin Sheen. I couldn't resist sending an e-mail which assured her both my intellectual needs and lustful thoughts were suitably fulfilled!!! Such a shame Martin Sheen can't run for President of the USA. I'd consider emigrating!!
The pre-conference pack is through for the conference in July and I have some super books to read and DVDs to watch - and a Bible study and a paper to prepare. I feel invigorated and full of ideas. I know going on a theological conference isn't everybody's idea of a relaxing break but I am effectively a pig in clover at the thought of it. The reading list looks super and none of the books are on my shelves - so that is a bonus.
I had a smashing conversation with our foster daughter last night who is getting married in a short while. We talked about her guests and plans - it was such a joy to hear her excitement and all about some of the choices she is making. I called our son later in the evening and he is as excited as we are at the prospect of the wedding. It will be a small-ish gathering and he will need a new suit, shoes - the works - so he rather chuffed with this. I am looking forward to a smashing day - and a chance to get to know our grandson too!
I feel well. It has come upon me all of a sudden - just as becoming ill seemed to overtake and envelope me. I am content in myself and looking forward with energy and imagination. I love living in the moment, it is incredibly liberating and enabling. I am not 'counting my chickens before they are hatched' but I am not waiting for a catastrophe to happen either. It is hard to put my finger on what has relatively suddenly made me feel so much better. There seemed to be a moment when, quite literally overnight, my anxiety diminshed demonstrably and my motivated self woke up from hibernation. Consciously, it had a lot to do with the realisation that I am now able to achieve what I want out of life - the opportunity is at last there after so many years focused on the care and nurture of others. Unconsciously - the arrival of Spring; the lightening of grief; the discovery of now; not taking myself seriously in ways that retard rather the encourage my emerging self have all played their role.
Kate McMillen writes:
When I loved myself enough I redefined success and life became simple. Oh, the pleasure of that.
When I loved myself enough
I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet and hold still, life comes to me.
Welcome to the new, motivated, yet wonderfully calm Jane. It is so good to hear. brilliant. Much love and rejoicing. G
Posted by: Gwen | 03/14/2008 at 08:39 AM