What is that lovely saying about making sure you treat each new day as the first day of the rest of your life - or indeed the only day? I was feeling as nervous as hell as I settled at my temporary writing desk which has been set up in 'the snug', a space we would usually use for meditation or simply to contemplate the beauty of our surroundings. I am abandoning working in The Sanctuary for this week so that I can be around in the house for the dogs as my partner is going away.
I feel like I am my own boss once again - and it is a very energising feeling. Above all else I think my primary task must be to maintain a consistent self-belief. I am a professional writer. I don't have to hide. I am preparing a novel for publication. I am this. This is me. I feel so very good. I need to maintain a positive outlook over what I achieve. I have drawn up a timetable and I am setting myself a minimum and maximum task list for each day this week. My old patterns of beating myself up at every possible opportunity are entirely counter-productive and self abusive.
I wondered initially whether I needed to become a good parent to my child the writer, but that dynamic feels hopelessly out of kilter somehow. The whole validation and revelation of recent days has been that my adult self has been affirmed in her talentedness and her fortune told by experienced authors much further along the way.
My inner 'boss' must therefore become my most positive self; no undermining; no short-changing on the praise; gentle; honest; commonsensical; light; providing a safe but sstimulating space in which to explore. Funny it all sounds so familiar - it is exactly what we provided so beautifully for others over recent years in The Sanctuary.
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