Are the voices in my head too loud for you?

Ramsey Day

4th February 2007

Once a month I have a Ramsey Day, named after the Archbishop, Michael Ramsey.  Today was it.  I have read a great deal of the Archbishop's spiritual writings, dipped into biographical material and heard the most wonderful stories recalled, and some, I am sure apocryphal, about the man, told by those who sat at his feet during his lifetime.  He sounded rounded, balanced, shy, wickedly ascerbic and as though he never took himself terribly seriously - although he executed his role as a priest and teacher with considerable pastoral awareness and theological sophistication. 

Ramsey  was in the habit of setting aside time on a regular basis to catch up with himself and in-fill.  I have named my day to do much the same after him.

So today I have been in the garden tidying and enjoying the very real signs that Spring is in the air.  Ben Wyvis, our nearest - and usually snow-capped  - peak is almost snow free - a rare occurrence this early in the year.  I have delighted in the snowdrops defiantly bobbing in a gentle breeze.  I was surprised to see daffodils well on the way to full growth and some showing bud.  There was I thinking my garden tidy was getting ahead for once;  it is already catch up time!

The weather over the weekend has been amazing and it has been incredible to be working outside in a t-shirt and fleece - not even wellies!  I have enjoyed changing gear today mentally, physically and emotionally.  It has been a day the Benedictines would be proud of - a prayerfully workly day. 

It has helped me focus in on the task I want to complete between now and Holy Week which is a set of Stations of the Cross based on disability for the chapel here, where I live.  I don't know if I can get them all done in time without forcing the creative process, but over the weekend I have managed to have a go at the first three; 'Jesus is condemned to death'; 'Jesus takes up his cross'; 'Jesus falls the first time'.

They have been very emotionally challenging to do, but on each occasion, an image of what I wanted to create on paper has come very powerfully to me and it hasn't felt as though I have had much to do with what has ultimately appeared on the pad.  I have felt drained by the anticipation rather than the actual putting pastel to paper.  I have felt compelled to produce the composition.  It's an odd sensation, I sometimes feel much the same when I am writing a prayer or a poem.  Maybe it's my subconscious.  Maybe it's the Holy Spirit.  Maybe this weekend I was relaxed enough for the creative juices simply to flow!  Jubilate Deo!

As I was working outside this afternoon I felt overwelmed by the awesome privilege of simply being; being in the moment; alive; well and able to enjoy - for now. Julian of Norwich was right - all manner of things shall be well.

Inevitably my sense of consolation didn't last too long, other things kicked in - but it was magical. I am thankful for today.

Cuthbert the Cat and Alternative Funerals

1st February 2007

A soothing day today.  I spent some time outside trying to do some basic maintenance.  Reclaiming the herbs in their pots from weeds 'squatting' and to clear some of the extraneous things that seem to gather - and not have a home in and around the garden.  The wind was up - but it helped blow the cobwebs away mentally and physically.

We live on the shore of the Moray Firth in a quiet spot.  The sun popped out a couple of times, but otherwise the wind made for a transient sky and impressive cloud formations.

The ducks were bobbing happily on the water and our youngest cat, Cuthbert (Bertie) was determined to be my help mate.  Anything I tried to do he was there, pouncing and jumping, crouching - and then finally - when I climbed into the car for a breather out of the wind, jumping in, climbing onto the back parcel shelf and then crashing out.  I listened to You and Yours and stayed in the car much longer than anticipated as they were featuring alternative funerals. 

The programme was outlining some of the choices people are making.  The one I am still thinking about is the firework company that will send your ashes up in a pyrotechnics display!  Also an egg shaped coffin in which the deceased is laid in a foetal position.  Actually, as well as those, I was also intrigued by the graveside feature which is apparently becoming popular in the USA.  It is a headstone mounted screen which you can press and see a short multimedia presentation on the life of the person who has died.  There was a great deal about green burials (which is the option I have chosen for myself) and a vicar of "thirty five years" was interviewed who was deeply unphased by what he had seen at the alternative exhibition and said, quite rightly, he would be "open to just about anything".

I left Cuthbert sleeping with the car door open, but Radio 4 turned off.  I feel he can listen to the radio in the house if he wishes to.  For some reason, he loves cars.  He was picked up as a stray on Lewis and we fell for him at SSPCA.  We wonder to this day whether his over-friendliness meant he hitched a lift from some part of the island, and then, not knowing where he was, began his life as a stray.  He was a very obviously loved young cat who seems to enjoy being in the Chapel here and will purr loudly during singing!  He looked awfully like a fluffy toy, fast asleep on the parcel shelf this afternoon.  I should have stopped and taken a picture. Now to return to my own alternative funeral rite - clearing up the remains of Bertie's latest hunting expedition.